Thursday, 28 October 2010

Ramble, vent, whine, contemplate.

It's been a month. And you know I said that like "bean" and not "bin".

These are just nonsensical (perhaps a smidgen sensical) ramblings of a blogger only half-way through her first coffee of the day.

I feel like I've almost become scared of this place. This, my wee little blog. And I thought about why (apparently for a month) that is and I came so close to shuttin' 'er down - I was literally on the settings page ready to make it private only. The answer that makes the most sense as to why this has stopped being a pleasure and started being work is ... : I don't know what I want from this space anymore.

It is, in fact, partially work as it's aspiring to be promotion of my Etsy shop. (My Etsy shop being a whole other can of worms entirely.) And I suppose work as well due to the fact that you have to do things that aren't super fun in order to have a successful blog. What's a successful blog, anyhow? And why aren't the things you should do to have one of these successful blogs fun? They sure seem like fun; showcasing other blogs, visiting as many blogs as possible, creating a little community in this space, etc. How's that work?

Back to the question of what this blog is supposed to be. Is it entirely promotion? Not at all! But is it a fashion blog, per se? Or a personal journal? I don't feel as if I really have enough content, knowledge or drive to make this a fashion blog.

So then I am thinking of this to post, I tend to get overly critical and decide that either nobody would ever be interested in that, or I look like an ill-informed, ill-researched fashion blogger wannabe who is the last one to be up on anything (and here we are back to the lack of interest for most readers) and I will be exposed, once and for all, as a fashionista fraud who actually is not with the hip hop happenin' times of the wacky world of fashion.

What to do, what to DO? Right this second ago, I thought of just bucking up, soldering on, and what I would post next. I cringed. I know of some bloggers who proclaim that they will stop blogging the minute they stop enjoying it. I wonder if they truly mean it. Am I even going to post this or will I be my usual self-critical self and decide that whoEVER will read this at all. Readers just want photos. Readers think reading is boring. I am one of those readers, mostly.

I usually save such introspections for a diary diary but I feel like today the world-wide-web isn't prohibiting me from saying what I feel, as the scary, publicity of the internet usually does. As it should, honestly.

It's really easy to simply say, it's your blog, do what you want with it. Is it 100%, no-strings-attached, no catch, THAT simple? Because I, unfortunately, don't see it that way. I suppose that if that were to be my game plan, some people in the vast universe of the interwebz would find what I have to say/post appealing, but I guess that's a scary prospect. Trying to figure out what people want and gleaning what you can from sites before that have worked seems like a more fail-proof plan. But now that just sounds lame, uninspired and unoriginal.

I don't think I necessarily find blogs that are all over the place in their content to be too terribly interesting. Variety is usually good, but don't you read a blog because you find its topics interesting? And if Jenny over there is posting on Fendi handbags one minute, forestry the next and CSI Miami the other, the continuity and cohesion is left to the wayside. And it becomes messy.

But maybe that's not the point. Not everything you post is going to be interesting to everybody. That is why you blog regularly and if what you post doesn't do it for Jim-Bob one day, the next thing you post may just well be right up his alley.

Self pep-talk!

Although I'm not entirely sure where this pep-talk has gotten me this morning. Food for thought. I've exhausted this train for today.

That's right - no photo.